Profile
  • John P. Hess
  • @gospel_john
  • August 24th, 2008
  • USA
  • Temecula, CA
  • Dr. Strangelove
  • Billy Wilder
  • 1982-07-22
BIO
  • What can be said about John P. Hess that hasn't already been said about a half-eaten bologna sandwich? Born on a tropical island somewhere in the South Pacific, John came to filmmaking when he connected two VCRs together for a 4th grade homework assignment and discovered linear editing. Unfortunately his patent application was denied as linear editing had been discovered and perfected 25 years prior. Undeterred, John continued playing with digital polygons all through high school until he discovered he could cast girls in his silly movie parodies. At University, John studied business administration and marketing which led to a three year stint as an advertising executive under the alias name Don Draper until his cover was blown by Pete Campbell. Determined to make it on his own, John became a commercial producer. Through a long deceased social network, John met Dennis Hartwig who was crowdsourcing the world's smallest death ray for ants. The death ray concept fell through so John and Dennis started Filmmaker IQ instead. After $insert#years$, Filmmaker IQ is one of the most well respected filmmaking resources in the Galactic Empire, visited by thousands of Zeta Reticulians and spambots every standard revolution. During his spare time, which is rare, John enjoys playing the trumpet, reading Supreme Court filings and mispronouncing French words.
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John P. Hess

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@gospel_john

active 6 hours, 26 minutes ago

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