FilmmakerIQ.com

• John P. Hess said 11 months, 1 week ago:

  So, putting together the next project… this one is heading for the epic-sphere.

  Here’s the first draft of “Treachery in Three Dimensions” – a gritty detective film noir of a Private Eye trying to crack the mystery of who is converting classic movies into 3D.

  http://cidownloads.com/filmmakerIQ/Treachery%20in%20Three%20Dimensions%20Script.pdf

  First draft script – very roughly sketched out. Yes, it’s Film Noir for reasons you may already suspect. But no, I’m not eligible.

  All my Best,
  John Hess
  Creative Industries Media Group | GospelJohn.net
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• John P. Hess said 11 months, 1 week ago:

  Here it is attached …

  Attachments

  1. Treachery_in_Three_Dimensions_Script.pdf Treachery_in_Three_Dimensions_Script.pdf (34.8 KB, 12 downloads) 11 months old
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• Simon Hosick said 11 months, 1 week ago:

  Ha, love it. I can see the potential and style, there might be room for more jokes but then again, you don’t want to over load it.
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• Anthony Law Liddle said 11 months, 1 week ago:

  I love it man! Very ‘Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid’, and that’s a compliment!

  I do agree with DW, the farce is there, and it’s over the top, but there’ doesn’t seem to be enough to really go with the mood you’ve set up. I think two or three more gags like the tennis racquet joke will solidify it.

  Also, Howard the Duck made my eyes bleed without the 3D. I can only imagine the consequences of seeing the full depth of it.

  “The first thing a writer should be is – excited. He should be a thing of fevers and enthusiasms. Without such vigor, he might as well be out picking peaches or digging ditches; God knows it’s better for his health.” -Ray Bradbury
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• John P. Hess said 11 months, 1 week ago:

  Thanks guys.

  A couple revisions will probably lengthen Professor Z’s scene with a few more wordplay jokes. I was trying to bring back the racket joke which for me sounded very Naked Gun which is what I was trying for.
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• Madison Paige said 11 months, 1 week ago:

  Very funny. This should definitely be good. I like how self-conscious it is. Parodying the genre is perfect. Beating down the “everything on earth should be in 3D” mantra, even better.

  I remember when windex came out with HD window cleaner.

  Now I believe I’ve seen ads for 3D sunglasses.

  The madness has got to stop. For real. And your script seems to take stabs at that. Cool.

  So…..I guess it’ll be a noir contest then?

  Be Excellent.
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• DUNNE said 11 months, 1 week ago:

  Hey John!

  Great script, only thing I would say is the ending feels a bit rushed? Not sure how to fix it though just thought I’d open that up to discussion. Otherwise I love the concept and I know you’ll do something great with it.
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• John P. Hess said 11 months, 1 week ago:

  I probably spent more time on the intro and not enough on the ending… working on the revision now.
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• John P. Hess said 11 months, 1 week ago:

  Revision 2 – added more self referential humor to the last scene and turned this from normal to EPIC. :(

  What’s new?

  Attachments

  1. Treachery_in_Three_Dimensions_Script2.pdf Treachery_in_Three_Dimensions_Script2.pdf (42 KB, 8 downloads) 11 months old
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• Anthony Law Liddle said 11 months, 1 week ago:

  It’s definitely coming together! The second draft feels much more complete than the first.

  I thought of a comedy beat that might be entertaining during the scene where he’s tied up:

  ———————————————-

  RONALD VO
  It wasn’t the first time I walked into a trap. It’s a cliche, but one the audience expects.

  PROFESSOR Z
  Vill zomevone please shut that radio vup!?

  Stella struts over to a radio in the corner.

  RONALD VO
  Like every two-bit gumshoe in the movies, there’s just sometimes when your head is so far up your–

  Stella snaps the radio off with a CLICK.

  PROFESSOR Z
  Now, as I vas saying…

  ———————————————-

  Feel free to use it, abuse it, or leave it, but I thought I’d throw it out there :)
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• Simon Hosick said 11 months, 1 week ago:

  I noticed a little continuity error -

  Ronald approaches a door marked EDITING SUITE 13, draws his
  gun, and goes in.

  Then in the Editing Suite -

  Ronald enters the room and draws his gun.

  I’m going to throw an idea in here and that you make a point of it by having Ronald draw his gun a third time on his line before he’s knocked out. Just a suggestion.
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• John P. Hess said 11 months, 1 week ago:

  @Dark_Water said:
  I noticed a little continuity error -

  Then in the Editing Suite -

  I’m going to throw an idea in here and that you make a point of it by having Ronald draw his gun a third time on his line before he’s knocked out. Just a suggestion.

  I added the “enters the edit suite” without changing anything before hand so that’s why it’s a mess… need to clean that section up.
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• John P. Hess said 11 months, 1 week ago:

  Got the cast in place – the usual suspects. I have an idea how I’m going to create the set and I upgraded to cineform’s NEO which has a First Light meta data editor that will make my life that much easier (color correction – especially for B&W)

  We’re almost a go!
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• Dennis said 11 months, 1 week ago:

  It’s passable.

  I don’t think you should do these once a month shorts at the local bar anymore. It’s only purpose was to give you a deadline. Now that you know you can meet a deadline I don’t see the point.

  You have a certainty in style which is good. What is bad is your work desperately seeks approval.

  What I am waiting for is to see your work in its purest form. A film something beyond what is required. Something that just you. Something that is pure and magical. That is something your abilities are capable off. The question is do you have the willpower?

  Now With Half The Calories Of Regular Bullshit!
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• John P. Hess said 11 months, 1 week ago:

  Yeah I hear ya.

  For me, Trouble in the Movie Queue was to see if I could take what I learned on Pitch Black and apply it back to the comedic genre. That screened fairly well and it opened some more doors for me.

  I like this one, I think it will play well but I don’t have that deep emotional connection to it – I’m playing more for laughs (approval as you say) than anything else.

  But in that sense – I’ll enjoy it for what it is. Something fun to do and get some practice. Basically hosting a movie party. Do a couple of them and people get to know your name, but doing nothing but and you become the guy that hosts movie parties.

  And to be candid for a second I know that it gotten to the point where putting my films up against some of the stuff playing out here is like spiking the football. Problem is, I’m working more on the endzone dance than actual strategy.

  I don’t think willpower is my problem. Forgive me for being blunt, but it’s more just a matter of time (and by that I mean just wait, the fire’s getting hot).
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