Action vs. Dialogue

Posted on August 5, 2008 in Story | No Comments

Question: The first five pages of my script contain a lot more movement than speech. Because of this, it’s exceeding the one-page-per minute rule. It just seems to take me more pages to describe action than it does for dialogue. Is this a common problem? Do readers take this into account? Can you give me a bit of advice to either put my mind at ease or teach my to overcome this?
G.K. Brothers, KS

Jeffrey Schechter responds: Don’t get too hung up on the one page per minute rule. While you’re right that description can sometimes read slower (or faster) than dialogue, by the time you get to page 110, everything should average itself out. The best thing you can do, particularly in those precious first few pages when a reader forms his or her first (and often irreversible) impression of a script, is to keep the descriptions short and punchy. Two or three short sentence bursts. Lots of white space on the page. Also, keep the voice active. (Jack jumps. Hits the wall four feet up. Flings himself over in one move.)

Make sure that you use only the barest amount of description needed to paint a clear picture in the reader’s mind. Don’t go prosey (Jack leaps like a gazelle for the rough-hewn brick edifice. He catches hold of the wall like a giant spider, impossibly high off the ground. Using impressive, almost superhuman strength, Jack propels himself up and over the wall in a move that would make a gymnast green with envy. BLECH!!)

To recap — keep it short, active and essential.

Screenwriter/director/producer Jeffrey Alan Schechter is the instructor of The TotallyWrite 3-Hour Screenwriting Crash Course and developer of the TotallyWrite Development Suite software. Nominated for a Writer’s Guild of America Award for excellence in writing, he has worked extensively as a script doctor and has sold spec screenplays, pitches, animated films, episodic TV and cable movies to studios and companies, including Walt Disney Pictures, MGM/UA, VH-1, Nickelodeon, Warner Brothers, Nelvana, and Universal Studios among many others.